when reality strikes

A popular mall in Dar es Salaam -  many shops are inside

• I was in the mall one time and went to a shop where nice clothes and shoes are there.  I want to buy one of the dresses displayed.  But when I checked the price, the cost is equivalent to at least 3 days of my monthly allowance.  I left the shop with a heavy heart and pitied myself.  Have realized that my economic status now is not capable to have that kind of luxury.  Although, the USD conversion is around $20 only.

IIII

• I was in dala-dala going back to my place from the city.  It was busy hour where everybody was rushing to go home.  I was not able to get a sit.  I was on the isle together with other fellow passengers.  It was unfortunate that this dala-dala wants to pick-up all visible humans at all stops.  Everyone was squeezed together that my feet have no more space to stand on.  A fellow passenger accidentally pushed me so I lost my balance.  My right upper arm bumped at the edge of the seat beside me.  I almost shout and cried not because of the pain on my arm but because of self-pity.   So, this is how to live like a common Tanzanian.  A comfortable ride (like an air-conditioned taxi) is forbidden because their earnings will not allow them to – perhaps it is just enough to survive daily; a meal and dala-dala ride.

swollen arm from dala-dala ride

the ubiquitous dala-dala in the city

  IIII

• It is expected that isolation is part of volunteer’s life.  But it’s terrible when all you can do is to watch the candle light at night while it slowly melting because the power is out for almost 8 hours and the batteries of your gadgets are all emptied. 

my candle light when power was out

IIII

• Sometimes, it’s so lonely to wake-up in the morning that those familiar faces and things you used to have and see are not there and you realized that you are now in unfamiliar and strange environment.

IIII

• When you are alone most of the time, you have to bear yourself even how grumpy you are. You have to accept who you are, even it hurts inside.  You have to be patient.  It’s only you and yourself that you can rely on.          

  IIII

• There’s no place like home. No matter how you compensate yourself for temporary things that make you feel good in a while. Still, the longing in your heart will not be easen. All you want to be is in the place where your comforts are – Home.

  

“If we are incapable of finding peace in ourselves, it is pointless to search elsewhere”.

 Francois de la Rochefoucauld